Wet Your Lips *Here*: October 2006

Different *strokes* for different folks: What does it mean to have a *lipstick fetish*

One of the privileges of living in a small town whose population is predominated by tertiary students from different corners of the country, indeed, even different corners of the world, is the general open-mindedness I am surrounded in. It means I can start an intelligent and meaningful conversation with 85% of the people I come across…about abso-bloody-lutely anything.

And yet, I don’t have the balls to talk about my lipstick fetish to my very closest of friends. I have a friend who confessed to me that she actually prefers anal to standard sex…but I wouldn’t broach the subject with her. I have another with whom I have regular, open discussions with about self-pleasuring…I wouldn’t tell her either. The girl I invented a game with once upon a time…forget it.
I also have a whole host of guy friends who know perfectly well I go digging into their hidden porn folders on their pcs when they’re not looking, so they know I know their perks, everything from the more softcore side of the spectrum… to the most obscure of hardcore, for godsake I know what the term “felching” means. And you bet your ass I wouldn’t broach the subject with them either.

At this site, it’s all too easy to discuss the matter…because we’re all on the same side of the voting roll. In the back of my head there’s a voice that says this is not even a debatable subject: a lipstick fetish is just, so absurdly-obviously The Sexiest Fetish a human being could have.
So it’s been a covert mission of the highest order to ascertain the opinion of people not so inclined (who seem, by definition, to get more or less acutely squeamish about it) in order to temper my knowledge of the subject… to be able to regard it without the usual feverish bliss that can cloud my vision... or the delicious input from Wet Your Lips *Here*’s gracious readership ;-)
How I managed this was to start off a broad conversation with various groups on sexual fetishes in general. Hardly had to break a sweat getting that right. From there it’s not even nearly that perilous a step to asking for people’s opinions/knowledge of more obscure/bizarre forms of fetish they know of…though 9 times out of 10 I ended up being the one who had to bring up lipstick fetishism, the majority of people simply don’t know it exists.
It’s not even on Wikipedia’s pretty damn extensive list of fetishes. Can you believe it?
And, a further 9 times out of 10, the reaction from the group, at its mention, is distaste. The leftovers simply squint at you and go “I just don’t get it”. Ironically, I knew for a fact one of the people who gave this last sort of response has a bulging folder of porn on their pc packing primarily bestiality and the most masochistic cum fests you’ve ever seen (the kind where the girls don’t look like they’re having any fun).
Yeah, the feeling’s mutual dude.

So now The Big Question is why? Why do some cringe, whereas others *cream* themselves? Do the two different reactions stem from the same fundamental cause?
It’s a tricky one folks. I think, judging from the various input that has either been happily offered or exasperatingly hunted down, that it may be tangled in the notion of different reactions to pornography…and the acceptance of the feminine.
Those who are disassociated with the feminine get stuck in viewing the female body as a sex object, this is, essentially making the whole body (which encompasses an individual identity) a fetish object. And then there’s those of us that accept and admire feminine sexuality, who allow the girls we view their right to be enjoying that part of themselves that they have, for whatever reason, decided to share with the world.
Any form of fetishism must, by definition, always come back to the original fetish object. We have fetishized lipstick because our subconscious recognizes we can’t respond to another human being as if they were an object.
It’s my hypothesis, but I feel it is an informed one. I’ve argued with an obliging senior psychology lecturer on the matter over coffee for three days flat.

So Ms Likes-To-Cover-Her-Body-In-Lipstick Lady, does the body not become objectified when in contact/adorned with the mark of the sexual fetish?
Fuck no. It’s a cogent statement to make, certainly, but by mere virtue of the fact that the sexual body is being adorned…it qualifies as a celebration of, a tribute to feminine sexuality. It’s gone beyond the realm of acceptance to the state of worship, so to speak.
And I think we should all have the *freedom* (god, I love that word) to pay tribute to whatsoever entities we deem divine that we choose. Mine range from Life to Bast (a sacred pussy! ;-) ) to Saraswati to my body to my mug (that nurtures and fuels me continuously whilst I absorb information, process it, and refine it in my retelling). I’m a strange little girl. But I have the right to the freedom to be a strange little girl.

But we’re not out of the woods yet… The fact remains that we who love lipstick are still citizens of human society. A society which categorically states, at this point in time, that fetishism bares the brand of an ICD-10 classification. This means the shrink you speak to about your love of lipstick will describe you as a patient suffering from acute perversion. That needs to change, obviously. But how do we tide ourselves over till then?

I will be covering this in my next post. To tide you over till then, here’s a fairly extensive photo-gallery record of the various manifestations of lipstick fetish…
There has been some contestation as regards body painting qualifying as part of the fetish… Please believe me when I say: abso-fucking-lutely! As long as it comes back to the tube of lipstick, whatever form of play it is, it counts.
As an artist, one who’s been roped into other students’ bizarre projects, allow me to vouch for the fact that getting painted all over simply does not come anywhere near the sublime sensation of having lipstick slicked over your skin. The latter is merely an act of décor whereas the latter actually becomes a sexual act. A rather delicious one at that ;-)
Go paint your girlfriends or yourselves after enjoying the photos… (12 in total, last two on the post below this one...&*%$#@! Well above this one then...)

Some prefer paler shades…